i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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