happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
