Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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