Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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