Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
