When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
