Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So vagazzling was a success
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
