I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
