so let's talk penis.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
