I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
