Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize