She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I need a burrito and a hug.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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