her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
