batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
