you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
