please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
