I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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