Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
