garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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