hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
