in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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