I wish I could teleport
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Are my feet made of real feet?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
