bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
