i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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