my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
