We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
