TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
