You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
