why do cheetos always look like penises
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
