if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
