who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
