I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
