i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm passing your future prison.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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