butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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