i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
