dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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