Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
