My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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