There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize