OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
