So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
