She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
