worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
