did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize