He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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