he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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