i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
