i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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