i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
