p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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