at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize