i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
