so that wasnt chicken after all
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
