Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
