Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
where are my eyebrows?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
