Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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