I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
please come you make the beer taste better
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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