Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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