Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
