I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
