Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
this hospital has no fireball
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize