A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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