I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
