he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
