Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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