I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
