I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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