Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
