what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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