you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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