Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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