Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
