is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
