Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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