I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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