Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
