do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
