goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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