I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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