i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
