If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
